Safety First

Please, please forgive my 'drop off the face of the earth' absence.  I really ought to just set aside a day to write, however, I really only write when so moved.  Tonight is such a night (thank you master of the obvious)  :-D <they really need emoticons on this thing!!>

Once again we had The W.A.R.M. Place (see CLICK / Sept 27 for explanation).  I will not disclose who or even what was said that led me to this insight, but suffice it to say that her words triggered this epiphany.

Grief is a funny thing - certainly not 'ha-ha' funny, but a strange process.  While I listened to my friend, it occurs to me that on of my 'jobs' as a mom is to keep my children safe.  As a mother, our instinct is to protect.  Relocate the child when they face certain peril.  Shout, "Be careful!" as they dash out the door or any other variety of last minute bits of advice.  My favorite, "Engage your brain and focus!" (but that is another post).

It occured to me tonight that I was unable to keep Jordan safe.  I was not capable of protecting her or kissing her boo-boo's to make them 'all better.'  (gasp) Nor can I keep Sydney or Madelaine safe - and I'll just bet that they have figured that out.  They face the harsh reality, at a young age, that I am not the end all and be all of their safety.  Yes, I will do all that I can to keep them out of harm's way, but they have had their young eyes opened to a rude awakening, an awakening far sooner than I ever was exposed. 

What must it be like for them to look in on all of this?  To walk through it?  My sweet, wise-beyond-their years, call-me-out daughters?  (sigh)

I wonder if deep down they sense this and this underlying knowing rocks their world - just a little bit.

I pause to thank Abba for HIS protection.  Because whether I am spared something horrible here (yeah God and a big praise) or if I am not spared and end up in heaven - there is praise too!  I can see now - on either side - I have His protection. 

As do my girls. 

As does my Jordan as she frolics and basks in our Savior's presence. 

Little stinker - I miss her. <emoticon with the hearts to indicate my love>

MAMA FOX