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I have the awesome privilege to attend a bi-weekly meeting at a place called The W.A.R.M. Place (What About Remembering Me).  An organization designed to help children process the loss of a sibling (parent or grandparent; in our case - a sibling)

 

Tonight was our meeting night.  For those that are 'new' to my life, our family experienced the loss of our 5 1/2 week old baby girl, Jordan Brook.  She succumbed to an infection after desperately trying to survive the repair of a heart defect that she had upon birth.  Our story is one of God's grace and one that I will share at another time.  For now - I wanted to share the insight that was on my heart after our last visit to The W.A.R.M. Place

 

**************here ya go***************

 

I sat, listening to one mom cry (well, several, but these two in particular b/c they, too, lost babies).  The light went on.  Here I was, capable, able and eager to carry the burden of their pain for those few precious minutes.  Nine months ago, I was the one fresh in my pain, only four short months having bid farewell to our Jordan.

 

I had started at the WP, my exact words - 'I will trust the process'.  I really felt I didn't 'need' this group.  I have a phenomenal support system outside of this room.  However great that network though - not one knows the ache of losing a child.  So here, within the walls of the WP, I get to settle into the safety net of those that 'get it'.  While each story unique and individual, a common thread of understanding the now awkwardness of those that have not been in our shoes.  Sharing the common thread of the initial shock, heartbreak and tiny steps that follow the loss of a child.  The 'firsts', the anniversary's, the celebration's.  All of those things that bring this special group of women together.

 

On the 13th, it occurs to me why Kathy (well...the WP) does what they do and why they do it.  I mean, why not 'graduate' those of us that are 'veterans' of this routine?  "Who you're here for."  "Please state why you're here, who you brought with your and the opening question."  UGH!  Really?  But now...yes!  Of course, not only has it become easier for me to tell my story, I get to be a 'pillow', if you will, for the teary eyed mom, sitting across the room.  The mom that I just want to embrace and love on YET there is strength gained in allowing her to just sit in that pain.  Perhaps a gentle hand or rub on the back.  But - to be vulnerable amongst those that are in your shoes...pretty powerful.

 

I am so glad that I trusted - from the very beginning, when I looked into our Jordan's beautiful blue eyes to the moment that we walked in the doors here.  What sweet relief.  While I will forever ache for my daughter and reflect often on each stage that 'should' have happened.  I know for certain that the WP was definitely supposed to happen.

 

Thank you.

 

Eyes On Him

 

Mama Fox