N * O

Genuine, life experiences. 

Offering inspiration and hope to those bumbling through this life. 

I'm doing the best I can, I'm a work in progress and I've a purpose. 
So. Do. You.

N * O - shortest word in the the English language.

Hardest word to utter (for most of us).

I remember when I began my journey as a mom with my oldest.  I read and listened to all sorts of things that molded me as a mom (now I'm just a mold-y mom...LOL...sigh...ok).

One of the things I remember reading was that a child would hear the word 'NO' thousands of times before the age of, like, two.  I don't remember the statistic, but the jist of it was that the word 'NO' would be uttered a whole bunch.  Often, it's one of the first words they learn to utter, after 'dad' (much to mom's chagrin's, yes?)

That being said, I did my best to use different verbiage when she would reach for forbidden things.  'Don't touch' verses 'NO!' or 'We share with our friend' vs 'NO!  We don't just take!' and so forth.  You get the picture.   

As I've gotten older, getting more and more busy, I started reading how we need to 'be ok' with saying 'NO' when asked to DO something.  As women, we tend to feel guilt if we have to say 'NO' to something.  Therefore, we over-commit.  We become 'yes' people.  Often at the expense of other things...other people.

I am currently reading a book by an author* I really admire.  My mom introduced me to her work years ago.  Matter of fact, her 'thing' is actually called 'The Work'.  Her early writings really resonated with me.  (THIS particular book is a little...mmmm...'whack-uh-doo' seems harsh, however I really don't know another way to describe it.  She has taken a very eastern way of thinking.  Which, she has apparently always has had, but this particular book REALLY sends it home.  I find myself sorting through what can be applied / used and the rest of it just...sigh...oookkk.)

I digress.  Early on in the book, she says, "Your 'no' to someone / thing is a 'yes' to yourself.'  

That stopped me in my tracks.  I'd never looked at it like that.  

Rather than look at that 'no' as a 'no'...no to others and the perception that you're 'letting them down' - see it as a 'YES' to yourself.  Regardless of what the thing / person is, that 'YES' to self is ok.

Did you hear that?

It's O.K....really.

Now, we will, inevitably, say 'YES' to things that we aren't particularly jazzed about.  Therefore, it's a 'no' to yourself.  In some circles it's called 'adulting' because there are times we just plain don't WANT to do something and it's NECESSARY to do it, yes?  

That being said, I would encourage you to really examine what you're saying 'yes' to in your life and what you're saying 'no' to in your life.  Are you committing to things because you're more concerned with what someone will think of you if you decline?  Is it guilt driven?  Is 'everyone else doing it'?  

I have three girls and all three have their 'thing' - one is a runner, one is a cheerleader and one is now in dance.  I've only allowed ONE activity, at a time, in their lives since they were itty bitty.  I refused to be that mom running here and there.  My children need not be busier than me!  

Alright...so, here's my point.  This seems to have morphed into part parenting suggestions and part thoughts.  LOL

Moving forward, be intentional with your YES and be intentional with you NO.  And for goodness sake, don't get all wrapped up in the GUILT of saying NO.  

You have permission.

Sometimes that all we need is permission.

SO, next time you say 'NO' to something, just tell them The Texas Ginger gave you permission.

Bringing World Peace One Hug at a Time

The Texas Ginger

*The author is Byron Katie, The Work.  First Book is, Loving What Is and the other one that impacted me was Who Would You Be Without Your Story.  The second is a collection of the dialog's she has with her guests and gave the most insight / ability to understand The Work.  Her most recent, A Mind at Home With Itself...eeehhh...proceed with caution.  That's all I gotta say.   

It Takes a Village

Genuine, life experiences. 

Offering inspiration and hope to those bumbling through this life. 

I'm doing the best I can, I'm a work in progress and I've a purpose. 
So. Do. You.

I was chatting with my mom out in front of my home the other day.

One family arrived, dropping off their little boy.  My oldest was going to babysit.  A few minutes later, our neighbor brings over his little boy, another charge for the oldest to babysit.  (She is comes highly recommended!!)

I beamed a little inside.

These parents trust MY daughter with their children...pretty cool.

As the first family was leaving, mom of one boy says, "It takes a village!!"

Doesn't it though?

It got me thinking...(and you get to learn those thoughts here...lucky you - HA!)

My middlest went to dinner with a friend of mine that same night; a friend that offered to mentor my middlest.  She offered when said middlest was learning some tough life lessons a few years back.  She was spending a little time 'off' from school, with me at work.  Each and everyone of my friends at work (at the time) loved on, believed in and built my girl up.  She'd made some lousy choices and was suffering the consequences.  Those women were an amazing influence during those three days.  

Another friend takes my littlest every Thursday, for one-on-one teaching and loving.  The memories she will have (they'll BOTH have) are memories you can't possibly buy.  I KNOW my littlest is smart as a whip and that time with Mrs. T have quite a bit to do with that!

My mom helps with transportation and allows peace of mind when I travel, because she watches the girls.  She is also the epitome of hard working.  An incredible example to my girls.  She also doesn't put up with their sh*t.  LOL  She's been an influence since day one.  Literally.  BOTH born on HER birthday (my claim to fame...LOL)

The littlest's dad, even since our divorce, loves on all three of the girls as if they're his own.  He didn't skip a beat.  He takes them for regular visits, helps when I travel; pouring into their lives.  

Teachers, neighbors, other friends, coaches, pastors...

I do not do this alone.  

I often get compliments on how polite or well behaved each of the girls are to adults.  They can actually carry on a conversation with anyone from a waitress to someone we invite over for dinner.  

I mmmaaayyyy be implying that I very proud of them.

HOWEVER, they are not the young women / littlest girl solely because of me.  Granted, I have perhaps the most influence - I'll give you that - but they are lovely due to the encouragement, love and trust others invest in them.

The are who they are because of my village.

THANK YOU VILLAGE!!!  

You know who you are (I hope).

The Texas Ginger

Bringing World Peace One Hug at a Time