It's Not You, It's Me...PART 2

[ Not 'next week' - I should know better than to promise such things...sigh ]

I am presuming you have read PART 1.  If you have not, it is an important segue from that to this.  Take a moment to read the November 15th post first so that this one will make sense (maybe even read it AGAIN since I did not deliver 'next week'...lol) 

ALL OF THAT TO SAY...I have given some pause and process, reflection if you will to my original 'all is well' takeaway to how I was a 'trigger' to my friend.  Furthermore, I stand by The Four Agreements, in that, I am not taking any of this on a personal level. 

I very much respect her feelings; this is true for her.  When it involves contact with me, it brings up the painful past.  Okie dokie.

HOWEVER, it did leave me to wonder.  I HAD been a good friend to her through a very troubling chapter.  Wouldn't you want to hold onto said friend?  Recognize having survived and pushed through to the other side of the season that wiped you out?  

Apparently not.  

And...well...ok.  

This leads me to those 'pick up where ya left off' friends in our lives.  

That IS different.  This situation just...hits different.  It's one thing to stay out of touch for while.

A few examples - my Canadian Friend and I easily pick up where we left off.  No odd wierdness in between chats, other than my own inflicting guilt that I don't call enough.  

OR how about my friend running her seasonal business.  We'll pick back up when the season wraps up.  Both of these friendships have walked. through. IT.  Divorce, having babies, launching kiddos, loss and grief...you name it. 

Yet we're still standing.  

When I have contact with these friends, I'm reminded of the closeness we share.  I feel a warmth of acceptance, love and non-judgement.  I only want to deepen these bonds.  

All of this to say...uhm, I don't know what to say.  This is unchartered territory. 

As Always... I remain, Humbled, Buoyed and Blessed 

 As always, take 10 minutes to 

Just Be 

HUGS y'all

The Texas Ginger

 Bringing World Peace, One Hug At A Time

It's Not You, It's Me...

...but also kinda you, but not you 😕
PART ONE

[ I do not understand the white background on this publication;

I've tried to fix it and to no avail.  Feel free to read this over on SubStack  ]

I'd like to think I'm a good, if not decent friend.

I have my moments and overall, I'm alright.

That being said, one of my friends (we'll call her Bridget) had fallen off the radar.

There was a season when she was in crisis.  

We talked daily.  

I caught a lot of tears, listened as she processed, hugged her through the pain.

Then...crickets.

I'd send the proverbial, 'Thinking aboutcha' text with adorable bitmoji of my cartoon face. 

She'd reply with a 'Let's get together soon.'

Then...crickets.

One begins to wonder.

I've mentioned before that I live by The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz

I was not taking it personally.

And yet found myself racking my brain...had I done something? said something?

Being one that prefers closure, I talked it out with a close confidant.  

My friend helped me be ok with simply, letting it go.  

So I did.  I was prepared to let that friendship go.  

There's a saying; perhaps you've heard, 

Some friends are for a reason, a season or a lifetime. 

I concluded this one had been for a season.

Ok...that is o.k. 

Then...the very next morning, low and behold she texted!

Just a bitmoji of her cartoon face (it's kind of our thing)

To which I replied, 'How'd you know I was thinkin' of you?!'

'😌'

AND THEN...she called. (happy, happy heart)

We caught up, talked for an hour.  We were right back to our familiar banter, rhythm and insightful feedback we are so accustomed.

What I appreciated was the transparency.

She recognized that she'd been off the grid - out of touch and distant.  Bridget went on to explain, that indeed it wasn't me...and it was.

Not for anything I had said or done.

No.

Rather, for the time I was connected to her during a very painful chapter of her life, making it a bit of a (if you will ) trigger to see me.  While we'd been friends prior to that transition, the friendship grew immensely during that time.

This. Made. SENSE.

OF COURSE!

I began my own reflection of friends that are of the past.

Did I, also, fade out of their life based on the season they walked me through?

I share this with you to provide you food for thought.

IS there someone that you've wondered about?  

Or someone YOU have phased out of your life for one reason or another?

I want to add, her sharing this very acute self-awareness and emotionally intelligent insight, it gave me peace.  I had the closure I needed.  

AND I was given a new perspective on friendship.  

I love my friend very much.  So much, in fact, that I am willing to give the space for that trigger to heal.  I'll be here when she's ready.  

My heart's hope is this gives you some peace or a possible answer to a relationship(s) in your own life.  

HOWEVER, since originally writing this piece, more has come to light.  

I will expound in PART TWO next week.

As Always...

I remain, Humbled, Buoyed and Blessed 

As always, take 10 minutes to

Just Be

The Texas Ginger

Bringing World Peace, One Hug At A Time