Matthew West - Grace Wins (Audio) - YouTube
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I was running errands today.
The song came on by Mark West / Grace Wins.
I was propelled into a whirlwind of thought.
The following is not for sympathy.
It's not to share 'my' side or even to persuade you to 'take' my side (my motto - there are THREE sides to every story: mine, yours and the truth, yes?)
It's not to bash anyONE or group.
It's simply information about what I have faced over the past few months (with a touch of my personality).
If you'd like to ask questions or get further clarification, please PM me.
I'm so grateful...thank you!!!
For those of you that do not know or may be catching up, my divorce was final at the end of July and I bought a condo around the same time. I made tough choices (beginning in December), choices that SEVERAL people had strong opinions about, pastors intervened with 'counseling' and choices that impacted my girls and their dad.
At about the same time (end of July), the church I had know for ten years, held a meeting with 30+ community group members. During the meeting they advised / directed those people to 'unfriend me on FB', 'that I was not allowed at any homegroup, community group, or any other church-specific hosted events' (of course, if I am found to be on campus to pick up my girls, be cordial - of course, don't be 'unchristian <tsk, tsk>', but know that she is not welcome or allowed).
One person asked, "What if we run into her at, say, Kroger?" Mmmm...yes, well, "Make the conversation restorative in nature and ALWAYS communicate that Senior Pastor is willing to meet with a 'biblical plan of restoration."
"What about the girls?" MMmmm...yes, another tricky conundrum... "Continue to love on them (of course!), but not in such a way that would imply what Kimberly did was 'ok' or that you support her choices." People were advised, "Do not invite her to lunch or coffee or dinner or the movies...do nothing that would imply you SUPPORT her decision to divorce." (this coming from a church that HARPS on relationships).
I could not make this up and wouldn't believe it if I hadn't heard it with my own two ears.
So...the short of it is: I was banished from the church I knew because I divorced without 'biblical grounds'...sigh. True. I did not leave based on any unfaithfulness or any violence or any substance abuse.
I gotta say, it has not been easy.
(Which, I'm sure, delights those that are on board with how this was handled).
But it hasn't been difficult because this particular church congregation did what they did. It has been difficult because I've bumbled through separating God from People. THAT has been the hurdle.
See, the bottom line is that this is between myself and God. Period.
Apparently, had I visited this church while in the midst of my pain and angst, I would've been welcomed with open arms. HOWEVER, because I was a member and 'knew better' they reserved the right to banish me. I do not say 'ask me to leave' because they have yet to notify me that I am 'officially' on the 'Most Wanted'...well, 'Most UN-Wanted list'. I learned all of this via a recording of the PRIVATE meeting ABOUT me.
BUT....I digress...THAT is all back story. This post was provoked by the song from earlier.
'Grace wins every time...'
EVERYtime.
I'm certainly no SCHOLAR of the scriptures; I am, however a DAUGHTER of ABBA, and I've read enough, heard enough and been around enough to KNOW that, while He may not like my CHOICE, He still likes and even LOVES me. I've searched and searched (yes, shocking...again. I HAVE been in the word and I DO still pray) and have yet to find where JESUS did this...held a meeting, instructed people to ex-communicate a member. WAIT...there was that time in...nope. Just kidding. I cannot say the same about the church.
Here's the most baffling part - we ALL read the SAME bible. And SOMEWHERE they find scripture to support and distort and JUSTIFY this sort of practice. Oh...I'd seen it before me. I knew full well what was coming. Yet, I still made my choice. A choice that cost me a few relationships. (Note, not 'friendships' because if they had been ACTUAL friends, while they may not like my choices / my LIFE, they'd still be around and, there are still a few that think for themselves and can separate the two - THANK YOU for loving me, regardless).
I'll also add, the amount of compassion I've cultivated is beyond what I would've ever learned had I stayed where I was. I often joke(ed) that my spiritual gift was judging.
Can I just say? You do NOT know what anyONE is facing, struggling with or battling. If you're privy enough to be TOLD or they choose to share it with you, count it a humble blessing; an OPPORTUNITY to pray with them, love on them and walk with them through it. Even in their sharing you STILL cannot grasp the depth of pain.
And if you think cutting them out of your life is necessary, then that is well within your right. Perhaps you think that it is an act of 'tough love'. Ok. Then you probably didn't need them in the first place. The relationship was probably surface, at best. (BTW, I know that there is a place for tough love...this was not one of them).
I would encourage you to reflect and consider: You. Do. NOT. Know how or what YOU would do in any given situation. You may THINK you know, but please...don't be so high and mighty; so RIGHTEOUS.
I'm reeling a little, I'm healing even more.
Day by day gets better and better.
I owe none of my progress to the church I attended.
I owe a great deal of my thread-of-faith to where I work and the women that just...love me.
I owe it to God, the one I've CLUNG to since December.
I owe it to the new church I attend
(and yes, they know the whole thing...and shocking, love me anyway).
I owe it to the friends that have continued to 'friend' me on FB and continue to reach out, even in my mess.
Day by day gets better and better.
I owe none of my progress to the church I attended.
I owe a great deal of my thread-of-faith to where I work and the women that just...love me.
I owe it to God, the one I've CLUNG to since December.
I owe it to the new church I attend
(and yes, they know the whole thing...and shocking, love me anyway).
I owe it to the friends that have continued to 'friend' me on FB and continue to reach out, even in my mess.
Humbled, Buoyed and Blessed
And may you be filled with HIS love, light and peace
And may you be filled with HIS love, light and peace
Mama Fox
